Adopted Children Status


Asking on behalf of a friend:

I am a Jewish man and I am gay. I’m in a relationship with a non-Jewish man but we want to have a Jewish family. If we adopt children, will they be Jewish? What steps would we need to take to ensure our children are accepted? Does my partner need to formally convert? Do we need to have a Jewish wedding? Should we consider a Jewish surrogate so the child will “technically” have a Jewish mother?

Please, if you can’t accept gay marriage do not answer this question. We are simply looking for answers as to how to give our future children the most acceptance we can within our community.



  1. According to Jewish Law, a child is Jewish when they are born to a Jewish mother. If the mother is not Jewish, the child is also not Jewish.

    Please allow me to add an unwanted comment. Your question has nothing to do with whether I can accept same-gender marriages or not. The only defining factor in Judaism is what the Torah “accepts” and what it does not.

    Best wishes from the Team