Parenting

Our 24-year-old son is socially drawn to older women who have ‘motherly’ personalities rather than young men his age. His entire circle of friends is like that. His best friend is a divorced Jewish woman in her 50s who has two sons of her own around his age. He is not romantically involved with her and has no desire to be. Their friendship is purely platonic. He just considers her his best friend and they hang out together and talk on the phone a lot. This makes us uncomfortable, but we have no control over him because he is legally an adult. And his friend is older than both of us. He is planning on taking a long road trip with her this coming summer in which they camp out most nights in separate tents, occasionally stay in separate hotel rooms, and see the national parks and Disneyland. He thinks this behavior is kosher. We think otherwise. He ignores our instructions not to do this, and legally we have no recourse. What do you think as a rabbi?

I am divorced and my children are grown up. I live alone in an apartment. My parents divorced a long time ago and my mother lives by herself in another apartment a few blocks away. Besides my mother, I have no family nearby. My mother and I could save money by sharing an apartment. Neither of us ever plan to marry again. My mother still works, but she probably will retire within the next few years. Is it permitted under Jewish law for a mother and adult son to live together?

Ok so this question is odd but bear with me: From what I know, Jewishness is passed down via the mother. I also know that in the story of the Golem, he is granted life by a rabbi. Would the rabbi be considered his parent? And if so, would the golem be considered Jewish?

Dear Rabbi, what should I do about this? My father wants to fix me up with the daughter of his longtime chavrusa partner. And his partner wants the same for his daughter. But I am not attracted to her at all and I don’t think she’s attracted to me. I don’t think she and I have anything in common. Our families are close and I have known her since she was a little girl. I have no desire to marry her or go out with her even once. But my parents and her parents and are nagging us. My father says she is a perfect match for me and I should at least give her a try. He thinks if I spend a little time talking to her one on one, I will warm up to her. I feel so uninterested, I can’t see that happening. I think the real reason they want to fix us up is because they want to be family to each other.

Is it true that the Talmud says you can spank a child up to age 24? I vaguely recall having learned that. I am asking because we have an 18-year-old son who is heading off the derech. He has lots of problems. It’s a long story. This is a last resort, be we have tried seeking help from every resource in our community, all to no avail. The law of the state where we live permits spanking of a child up to age 21. If both civil and Talmud law permit spanking of a child his age, can we do so?

I am a man in my forties, twice divorced, with grown children, not presently employed, and not seeking employment at this time. I just moved in the other day with my mother, who is a recently widowed and retired lawyer and a healthy active senior citizen. I plan to live with her for a long time, possibly permanently, for economic reasons and to help her as she ages. Though she is retired, she likes to dress up nicely and put on makeup every day, even if she goes nowhere, because she feels it’s important for her dignity. A lot of her favorite everyday clothes require assistance from someone else to don and remove. When my stepfather was alive, he helped her. Now she wants me to do the same. I question the modesty of me as a man helping a woman in this way, particularly my mother, and the balance between modesty and honoring her.

I recently learned that according to Jewish law one is not supposed to call their parents by their first names. When I was growing up, my parents taught me to call them by their first names, and I am grown up and I still do. That’s what they wanted me to do. They have been accustomed to being called by their names their whole lives and they didn’t want me or my siblings to call them anything different. And I know they don’t want me to change this suddenly. I also called my grandparents by their first names when they were alive, as did my mother. This has been our family tradition as far as I know. And I was planning to teach my children when I had them to call me and my future wife by our first names. What is the scoop on this?