Miscellaneous

I became aware that I indirectly caused a major accident today without actually being involved. I was on the freeway when I realized I was missing my exit and I rapidly served into the exit lane. The car behind me served to avoid hitting me. In a chain reaction, several other cars collided, and it tied up traffic for over an hour. I later saw it on the news. There were no fatalities. Legally, I am not responsible because my vehicle did not collide with anyone else’s. And there is no way for the authorities to track me down. But this crash caused monetary to several others and thousands of other people to sit through traffic, having possibly harmful effects on their lives I wouldn’t even know. This is all because of my decision to voice-text behind the wheel, which is legal to do, which caused me to lose focus of the road and nearly overshoot my exit and make this erratic move. I do it all the time and never realized this danger. Do I have any obligation to come forward to anyone?

My mother is non-jewish, and my father is jewish. I know this means religiously I'm not jewish, but I always felt connected to judiasm. We as a family celebrate hannukah, pesach, rosh hassanah, and do Kom yippur. However, I feel the need to be more observant. I am not able to official convert until later, so should I become more observant? Should I even try to keep kosher, because I know non-jews are not to do religious things? Am I a jew? Am I a goy? I'm not sure what to do. Thank you Rabbi  

Dear Rabbi, I was raised Shomer Negiah. I learned and practiced growing up that one is only permitted to touch their spouse and immediate family members of the opposite sex. I got married over the summer, and for the first time ever, I spent a holiday out of town with my in-laws. I had a really good time with them. But they made that impossible to follow. My mother-in-law, who dresses very modestly (albeit with short sleeves) and wears a sheitl, demands frequent hugs from me and she touches me in many different ways as if I’m her son. She is a very touchy hands-on person who constantly puts her hands on people, male and female alike, as she talks to them. It’s just the warmth she shows in her personality. I could sense she might get offended had I resisted, and to avoid an argument that would ruin our holiday visit or my relationship with her for years to come, I had to cave to her wishes. All the female members of my wife’s family, as well as some of their friends, all hugged me or shook my hand, and my wife did the same with male relatives and friends in my in-laws community. To them, it is all a normal behavior, just the thing they do. I was too afraid to offend anyone when they don’t know me well and I am trying to make a good impression. I did talk privately to my father-in-law about my concerns. He says their rabbi permits all this touching. I met that rabbi when I went to shul and I noticed he shakes a lot of women’s hands and even hugs some women who are close friends of his. He is very warm and friendly and beloved in the community. There is a side of me that is feeling guilty, that I should have stood up and made it clear to everyone that I strictly observe negiah laws. But I don’t know how to be very assertive and I felt too timid and I didn’t want them to think I’m crazy. I talked to my wife about it after we got home and she feels I should touch those who want it and not worry.