Activities

I saw someone’s question about dangerous jobs. What does Jewish law say about someone voluntarily entering the armed forces of their country (other than Israel)? Doing so is gambling your life for your country and whatever money you can earn.

If you are a member of the cast in a play, isn’t bowing toward the audience at the end, which is customary for all actors to do, forbidden by Jewish law? I have observed it done by kids at Jewish day schools.

Next week is a rally for Israel in Washington, DC. My parents are too old and debilitated to go themselves, but they are ordering me to go to it. I don’t want to go because it is at the same time as a monthly book club meeting I don’t want to miss. My parents think the meeting is stupid, but it means a lot to me. I feel there will be plenty of people at the rally, even without me. I am an adult, old enough to have grandchildren if I had ever married, and I feel I shouldn’t have to do this just because my parents say so. What do you as a rabbi think?

Should one lie if it is necessary to do so in order to avoid speaking lashon hara?

What are the laws about sitting next to someone of the opposite sex on the subway? I just moved to New York City this week to start a new job and I barely know anyone here yet. I don’t have a car and the subway and buses are the only practical way of getting around. I have rarely used public transportation before. The subway trains and stations are almost always crowded, and it’s impossible to avoid physical contact with women. I have always scrupulously observed negiah and been careful not to touch a woman even accidentally, but this is impossible. The other day, I sat down in a seat with a vacant adjacent seat when I got on. Not too long after, a young non-Jewish woman wearing a tight-fitting sleeveless short dress got on and took the seat next to me. She acted friendly in a flirtatious manner and engaged me in conversation. I responded to her friendliness and chatted with her for about half an hour until my stop because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I couldn’t get up because I was surrounded by standing riders, also mostly female, squeezed in like sardines. I see lots of Orthodox Jews ride the subway, although I don’t know any personally yet, and I don’t know what they do about this. I will have to use the crowded subway almost every day for the foreseeable future.

I work together with a blind woman who my boss considers a valuable asset to the company. Until recently, she got rides to and from work from another coworker who was female. That coworker retired last week. This leaves me as the only one who can provide her transportation, and my boss specifically asked me to drive her to and from work as if it’s now part of my job description. Where we work, it is necessary to park two blocks away from the office and walk several minutes down the street. The blind woman has to walk with me and hold on to my arm as I walk to and from the car and to guide her. For the first few days, all was fine. Then an acquaintance of mine who knows I am married but has never met my wife saw me and emailed me and told me that he saw me walking together with my wife. He assumed this woman was my wife because it appeared she was clinging to me in a romantic way. I explained she was not my wife, but a blind woman I am assisting. I have been married to the same woman for over 30 years. My wife very much supports me helping a blind woman because she considers it a chesed. The blind woman also is married and her husband is appreciative of anyone who helps her. There is no negiah issue here because this woman does not make contact with my body, but she holds my loose fitting jacket with one of her hands. She only touches the fabric, away from my body, and not my skin. I don’t even feel her. But I am wondering, is there an problem in Jewish law if to the eyes of others, it gives the mistaken impression we are romantically involved?

What does Jewish law say about homeschooling your children?

There is a holiday train garden in our area set up in honor of Xmas with a few elements for Chanukah. Most rabbis in our community think it is not a problem and permit Jews to go see it, and many members of the orthodox community, including rabbis, actually do take their children there. But my wife and I feel it is too non-Jewish and we don’t want our kids to see it. We think it’ll have a bad influence on them. The problem is, most of the kids in our kids’ classes have already seen it and our kids are jealous that they have not seen what their friends have and are bugging us. Their rebbes have taken notice of this and are telling us we should take our kids there. But we feel uncomfortable exposing our kids to stuff like this. What advice do you have?

What rituals/traditions do you hold as most sacred/important?