Question
Hi Rabbi Lauffer, I just had a troubling mental conversation with myself. I don't know why this popped into my head but I asked myself how much do I really value mitzvos. If someone would offer me $1000 would I sell him my mitzvah of ner Chanukah from tonight? Then I thought no what about about $10,000 then I thought no probably not. Then I thought what if someone plunked down $100,000 cash in front of me for my mitzvah of first night of Chanukah. I'm afraid I would have a hard time not selling it. And this makes me sad. I wish I could say even if he gave me a 100 million I wouldn't sell it but I know I'd be lying to myself. I would like to know what I can do about this. What sefer to learn? How to value mitzvos more? Please give me a thorough answer I'm very troubled by this. Thank you for your time!