Keeping the Mitzvot
Question
asktherabbi
Shalom, I am a Jewish woman that is married to a non Jew, in the last 2 years I relaized that I felt differently about HaShem. I started dressing modestly and actually studing Torah. I now beleive that nothing should be added to it or taken from it. I beleive that the Torah is HaShem's way of telling me what he expects me to do and not to do (kind of how he feels). With that being said I feel as though I am a JOKE, because, no matter how hard I try, I can not live the way I feel as though HaShem wants me to. I really wanted to go to Chabad. My husband did not convert , we have 4 beautiful children and I desided not to push the Chabad thing,instead I put our children into our religious school at our reform synogoge. I am also letting our son learn what he may will need to know for when he becomes a Bar Mitzvah(in Jan.) from our reform Rabbi that does not beleive that the Torah is true,he only beleives it is G-d inspired. I want our children to be able to learn Torah for its own sake. Here is my questions: If I know that I can not live according to Torah and Jewish Law and I am breaking Mitzots to do other mitzvots (like driving on shabbat to get to temple) then why even bother trying anymore? #2/3?- Given it is the High Holy days do I (being a Jewish woman) need to go to services and should I feel like I am at a dead end, instead of the beiginning of a path from HaShem? Sincerely, Lisa