Too Little Perfection
I am looking for the truth. First most of my family is Mormon I have been a Christian, a Salvationist, a Lutheran, but mostly I believe I am lost. I understand not all Jewish believe Jesus is the Messiah, I do. I have recently been studying with the Jehovah Witness. I have become more interested in what is written in the Bible. I have learned more about the Bible then I ever had, God promises an Eternal Kingdom full of peace love joy kindness. For all who believe in him and walk a righteous path. There is no doubt in my mind God is the true one. I am confused about my feelings toward somethings but I have faith that God will grant me my answers. My trouble is I was scared, I have faith, I have the bible, but I felt so alone with so many religions around me. I was a lost soul trying to find the truth, I knew I need something real life ” here and now” to help me. I found a personal living “hero”, This person has not been put before God, I have only called them like Jesus, because there is only one Jesus. This person is not my friend or family, just a good person who makes people smile, not a comedian. That’s my life dream goal to make someone smile truly. To bring joy to someone is the greatest gift, means you are sharing love. Which is my desire, due to a resent bible study with the Jehovah Witness I am starting to question myself, I am not perfect, I have lots of confusion, I don’t want the eternal promise because It doesn’t feel right yet “like in my heart”. To the point I now feel as if I have to chose between God or people I care about and love. I never thought that’s what God wants, I am on the brink of depression with this. I don’t know what I’d call myself if someone asked me, but I believe in the Bible. I am reaching out to you because I need to know, I understand about hanging with the right crowd and the wrong crowd. The line between right and wrong is solid, but the line between two sisters who are not bad people who work hard try to do the right thing, is it right to just cut her out of your life. My question is should I have to leave people in my life to worship God, and why do I have to leave people I love (makes the eternal promise less appealing if I am the only one I know there)?