Idol as Souvenir
Question
A relative of mine who is not observant recently took an overseas trip. She brought me back as a souvenir an idol that is worshipped by the people of the land where she traveled. In her eyes, it is nothing more than an interesting tchotchke. She wants to give it to me the next time I see her. She also bought one for herself that she plans to display in her living room.
What is the appropriate way to deal with this? Should I take this gift from her or refuse it? Or take it and destroy it myself? And since she has one in her house now, is it a problem going over there?
Answers
It is definitely a problem from your perspective. If possible, I think that the best option is to explain to your friend that you truly appreciate the gesture but that you cannot accept the gift because it is an idol. Tell her that you understand that it was bought without any idol-worshiping intent but that it is still prohibited. If she understands and appreciates what you are saying, perhaps it will have an impact on her as well and she will get rid of hers as well. If it is not possible to tell her anything, you will need to destroy the idol after she gives it to you (not in front of her) and dispose of the pieces. It is not enough to throw the idol away intact. Rather, it needs to be broken up into pieces and then thrown out.
There is no prohibition with going to your friend’s house if she is displaying the idol but perhaps you might be able to tell her that it makes you very uncomfortable.
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team
One of the issues is that this relative is an atheist. She is Jewish because her mother was Jewish. And she recognizes herself as Jewish as an ethnicity. But she does not believe in G-d, religion, or the Torah. In all the decades I have known her, if you try to talk to her about religion, it means nothing and won’t move her. The only things she does in Jewish practice are putting an electric menorah on display for Chanukah and eating matzo on Passover (but not having a seder or refraining from chametz). And she eats foods associated with all the holidays. But if you try to explain anything from the Torah or Jewish law to her, she simply does not believe it or have any feelings.
She was married to a non-Jewish man in the past, but is now divorced. She has a son who is fully grown and married to a gentile himself. Her grandchildren are not Jewish because of that.
On the one hand it is heartbreaking to read how far she has removed herself from her heritage. But, on the other hand, it is heartwarming to read that she still eats Matzah on Pesach and lights an electric Menorah on Chanukah. It is my heartfelt Tefillah that very soon she begin the process of reconnecting to her Jewish soul.
In all events, I feel that, if she is not antagonistic, you should just tell her the truth that it is a problem for you to have such a gift in your house. If you phrase it in a gentle and non-confrontational way I would hope that she will not take any offense.
Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team