A Need To Forgive?


If someone comes to me on Yom Kippur (or in general) and apologizes for any wrong they did, but I never held anything against them, do I still need to “forgive”? Would it be forgiveness if I never thought they offended/upset me? Someone apologized to me for venting to me/arguing with my points but I never once thought twice about it. Does a person need to apologize for such things if the other party isn’t upset by it?

On their behalf, is it right to always assume you need to apologize because “it’s better to be safe that way”? I feel like that kind of thinking would eat away at them



  1. In general, a person needs to ask forgiveness from those they feel that they have offended somehow.

    If the person they are asking forgiveness from honestly feels that there is nothing to forgive, they should tell them that forgive them wholeheartedly, even though there is really nothing to forgive.

    If you feel that they person needs to hear that you forgive them without saying anything about their not needing to ask, then the correct thing to do would be to tell them that you absolutely forgive them without mentioning a word about their not having to ask.

    Best wishes from the AskTheRabbi.org Team