Marriage

Is it permitted to marry a hermaphrodite in Jewish law? Can a hermaphrodite marry?

Some Jews have the minhag to fast on day of wedding as it is analogous to Yom Kippur when sins are forgiven. Does this minhag include other Yom Kippur restrictions like melacha and bathing etc. or just fasting?

Is chuppah an actual obligation, or just minhag? Is it biblical or rabbinic? Also is there a minimum height of the chuppah?

We have a son with developmental disabilities that prevent him from having a normal life. He will never be able to live independently. Our rabbi said he is patar mitzvah. He is in his 20s and we have guardianship over him now, and after we are no longer able to care for him, he will probably have to go to a group home. He has good social skills and a job that he does very well and he wants to be as independent as possible. He is jealous he cannot have a fully independent life like most adults. It is obvious he is attracted to women and he wants to get married someday. He understands the concept of love and marriage. We discussed this with both his doctor and our rabbi and they both feel he should not marry. But we feel his pain and believe it would be cruel to deprive him of his desires and we disagree with both of them. We know of other marriages between those who are intellectually impaired that are successful, some who even have children. How should we approach this? And what if we override what our rabbi has told us and take steps to find him a wife?

Is a man permitted to get into huge amounts of debt and drive himself toward bankruptcy in order to please his wife and keep their marriage happy when she has heavy materialistic cravings and no amount of counseling can curb her desires, and if those needs of hers are not met, marital harmony is compromised?

Is crashing a wedding forbidden? An acquaintance in my community is getting married? Many people I know are invited, but I am not. I guess they don’t consider me an important enough friend. I want to be there. If I showed up and maybe took the seat of a no-show guest, would I be doing anything wrong?

We are getting married in the summer next year. We have lived together for more than seven years and already spend a lot of time together alone. We just watched a video from an orthodox rabbi who said Yichud at a wedding is supposed to be the first time a couple spends alone. Since we have already been alone and sexually active for so many years now, do we still do Yichud at the wedding?