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Thanks for your response :) Unfortunately, I struggle with the mitzvah of shmirat anyim everyday - even though I have seforim and online to help overcome it. This sin is done only between man and God. There is no direct harm a Jew can do upon another Jewish person. However, the sin of lashon hara and rechilut has the potential to harm another Jewish person which is between man and man. Many people don't realize the powerful impact of their words that can " kill " another Jewish soul. My questions here is after the paragraph below and thanks a million for your precious time in reading the entire e-mail For example, a Jewish married man or a group of Jews familiar with a name of a certain Jewish single - they constantly make fun of him behind his back, and degrading his reputation status to the point that either this man committed suicide due to mounting pressure of shame OR speaking badly that resulted in a a long delay of time to get married OR even worse robbed away his happiness by remaining single until the end of his life. 1) How many in the entire Torah pasukim in common that describes such an incident like here - 1 2 or 3 like "Do not murder" and so and so..... 2) Is it a such a harder struggle for many Jews to uphold shmirat halashon more than shmirat anayim? 3) How does Hashem deal with such a person - he loses a chelek in olam haba for "killing" another Jew or what....? 4) And lastly, what is the kapparah a person can do to mechaper the averiah he did? -- but it doesn't do any help to the Jewish soul who cried and missed his lifetime opportunity in finding shared happiness between man and wife. Thanks again and tzche limitzvos

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Dear Rabbi, I have two friends who recently got into a fight over what I consider an insignificant matter. It hurts me to see them angry at each other and I would love to see them make peace. What should I do? Thanks!

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is prostate massage (milking the prostate) allowed, if done by one self?

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I did something very bad. For many years, I spoke lashon hara about a friend (who I am referring to here as Friend B), but she doesn’t even know it. What happened was I was telling Friend A negative things about Friend B, who lives in another far away city, all without revealing her name, thinking it was okay because these two people don’t know each other and would never meet. All I was doing was venting. How wrong could I be? Turns out, Friend A is moving to friend B’s city and now they will be neighbors within several blocks and there is a strong chance they will meet each other, given the Jewish community there is small and they have common interests that might lead them to a friendship with each other. And I’m sure once they do meet, it won’t take long for Friend A to figure out the woman she meets is my Friend B. Friend B has no clue I said all these bad things about her to friend A. What should I do now? Should I tell only Friend A, the only one who knows now, that she might soon get to meet Friend B, and to disregard everything I said about her, all while keeping this secret from Friend B, who doesn’t know any bad was spoken about her? Or should I finally reveal to Friend B that I was saying such horrible things about her all these years to Friend A whom she is likely to meet and ask for forgiveness? Just so you know, Friend B is not a bad person. I still love her very much. She just has some issues that have driven me crazy for so long, and I just felt the need to vent to someone. I never imagined that the person I was venting to, keeping her identity secret, might end up meeting her.

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Dear Rabbi, I hope you can advise me. Someone in school is constantly insulting me. I’m fat, I’m stupid, I’m a loser, blah blah blah. What does Judaism teach about how I should respond to such insulting behavior? Thank you so much!

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Hi Rabbi. I heard that Judaism teaches to judge others favorably, which to me sounds similar to not really judging them at all. What does this principle mean and would you give me an example? Thanks!

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The other day, an acquaintance who is an annoying person who I don’t enjoy interacting with, asked me for the address and phone number of a dear friend who is a recent widow so she could send a condolence card. I told this acquaintance I would not give out my friend’s personal info without her permission. My plan was to first ask my friend for permission. But before that happened, the acquaintance became extremely furious at me and feels insulted. I later told my friend (the recent widow) what happened and she said she also considers this woman annoying. She says this woman has caused her lots of trouble in the past and she is glad I didn’t give out her contact info. Since this acquaintance feels insulted by me, am I required to ask her for forgiveness before Yom Kippur? Frankly, she is someone I’d rather not contact at all because she has a habit of bothering people, which I’ve known about for a long time and others apparently have too.

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Hi, I was in a restaurant the other day, and a person came up to me and told me I shouldn’t be eating there because it’s not kosher. What chutzpah! Shouldn’t he mind his own business? I was really taken aback.

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My mother is coming for a visit soon. She is anti-orthodox and does not dress tznius. At first this didn’t bother me, but as my girls are getting older, I think it would be a bad influence for them to see their grandmother dressed in this manner. They are at an age in which they will notice what she wears and want to imitate her, but they are still too young to understand or have this explained to them. I kindly asked my mother to dress tznius around her granddaughters. She then lost her temper and screamed about how disrespectful I am to demand that of her and that I should be ashamed of myself. My mother is already embarrassed by the fact that I became orthodox. She thinks I joined a cult and that I’m brainwashing her grandchildren. It’s been 12 years now and she still has not forgiven me for choosing this path.

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Dear Rabbi, A relative is showing interest in Jewish observance and has questions and issues (such as family) to work through. I would like to help but I do not know how. What advice do you have for me? Thank you so much!