When is it permissible to adopt? Is it permissible to have a child thru planting a sperm inside a Jewish female stranger in order to have a child?

Dear Rabbi, I am divorced and my ex-husband is not Jewish. I am growing Jewishly and he is not religous. He will have a christmas tree at Christmas and give presents to the kids, but there's no church or religion taught to them. My kids are 16, 14, 12 years old and my ex and I have decided to send the younger two to an orthodox day school in our city... I am grateful that my ex is accepting of the children learning Torah because he did not feel comfortable with my Jewish practices while we were married...Nonetheless, many years have passed and I think he sees the importance of the chidren having a firm moral education. Anyway...all this to ask you...how do I speak to my children about intermarriage? I've read all the good arguments in the articles, but how do I talk to the children about it without making them feel negative about themselves and their father? Will the day school education make the difference, perhaps, and lead them to understand the reasons why they should date and marry Jews? Thank you for your help!

what is the purpose of a jewish marriage

Thank you for taking time out of your life to answer questions. I recently read Rabbi Kushner's book When Bad Things Happen to Good People. I understand his logic on free will and how prayer shouldn't be about asking for things like God is Santa. He mentions that he prays for patience, wisdom, and understanding before he counsels his patients. My question is how can you distinguish from the two types of prayers? You are still asking for something whether it is pious or selfish. If Kushner is not "asking" but praying that he will be patient and understanding then doesn't prayer become meditation?

Would you know the source of the famous Chaza"l: "Ein dovor ha'omed bifnei harotzon"?